The answer to that is extremely difficult to answer.
I do not believe that there is any answer that all sufferers or experts in the field would agree to.
One thing that most people would agree on (sufferers
and experts alike) is that it is about feelings. It is a very effective way of numbing your feelings. Not exactly
the ideal scenario, but effective yes.
One thing that my previous cousellor used to say
is that it is to do with being negative towards myself. I tended to disagree. I agree that I have a
tendency to be hard on myself, but negative - hell no! To the outside world I am super-confident, plenty of self-esteem
etc. All my friends have even told me that I am a confident indivual. Or maybe, it's just that I'm a good actress.
Any jobs going in Hollywood?
The bottom line of what it is about, is that it
is a way of dealing. Again, not the ideal way, but an effective way yes. It has helped me get through situations
that I really do not believe I would have got through if it had not been for the ed.
I remember one time, during my earlies stages, I hit a new place in
my recovery, where I had a momentary belief that "it really is not about food afterall", but again that slipped
away from me for some time. The evening I came to that realisation, I was struggling something awful, and engaging in
the behaviours was the preferable option than using other unhealthy coping methods. That particular evening I could
very clearly see what the payoff was.
More to follow shortly...