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ED Hell
Why Continue
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The first thing to understand is that even though people who have issues around food may want out - it is not as simple as just quitting.  It must be realised that by engaging in the behaviours is a means of dealing with the muck in one's life - and hence, it has a payoff.  It serves a purpose.  Listed below you will find what some of these payoffs are.

  • When your focus is on food and/or body image all the time you do not have the time or the energy to focus on anything else
  • It helps to numb your feelings
  • It is a very effective way of not dealing
  • It helps you to not let other things get you down (at least for now)
  • It is easier to stay in the behaviours than fight them
  • It is difficult to see that there is any other way, when this is the "norm" for you
  • It is hard to believe that this is not about food, because when you focus in on the food you sincerely believe that it could not possibly be about anything else
  • When engaging in the behaviours you feel that you are in control, and when you feel like this nothing else seems to matter
  • I am a nicer person when engaging in the behaviours
  • When engaging in the behaviours I can cope better with life, and the muck it throws my way
  • I tend to accept things more readily when in the throes of the ed
  • Less analysing of self when the ed is in full swing
  • I tend to be more assertive when engaging in the behaviours, than when I am not (at least, on the exterior)
  • I accept myself more readily when engaging in the behaviours
  • The main one for me, is the doubt that I have of my ability to recover