If you knew
the turmoil I was in
If you knew
the anguish I put myself through day after day
Not a moment
goes by when I am not in pain
What if
you knew the reasons behind my disappearance acts
What if
you knew the real me
You would
recoil in horror
You would
be disgusted
You would
leave
That is
why I cannot let you in
I cannot
let you see who I really am
Because
I tell you
That I am
a fake!
Holidays
It is that
time of year again
The holidays
are approaching
I am in
a state of panic
Going home
Being around
friends and family
But mostly
of being around the food
Everywhere
I go
I am being
bombarded with
Adverts
and signs that say
"Only X
days to Christmas"
Don't they
realise what a stressful time of year
That is
to some
Christmas
has never been a happy time
All the
arguments
All the
fighting
Why can't
I just skip Christmas this year?
Can I just
sleep through the holiday season?
And wake
up the following year?
Have You Ever?
Have you ever passed someone in the street
And just known the pain they are in?
Have you ever seen your soul
Reflected in their eyes?
I know I have
Have you ever wanted to reach out and say
I know, I understand
Have you ever wanted to offer a hug and some support?
I know I have
What is it with us?
That we seem to tune in to
Another person's pain?
Is it because we see ourselves reflected there?
Don't
Judge
So you know
someone
Who suffers
around food
And what
do you think?
Do
you laugh, smirk or grin
Please don't
Do you think
that she is crazy?
Do you think
it's disgusting?
Do you think
"please just pull yourself together"?
Please don't
Whatever
your thoughts are
Please remember
this
That whatever
you think
There is
not a day that goes by
That the
sufferer does not have
These exact
same thoughts
I beg of
you
Not to judge,
ridicule or laugh
At what
is impossible to understand
Unless you
have been here too
It Hurts
No matter what she does
The pain and the anguish
Are still there
She knows not
What to do
She wears a smile
But it is not real
For internally she is crying
But it is easier to smile and laugh
Or so she thinks
Than to admit defeat...
Love
And Lies
You told
me you would help me
Yoy
told me you would never leave me
You told
me that I would feel no hurt
Just as
long as you were here
So why do
I hurt so?
Why does
it feel that I'm carrying
Such a burden
on my shoulders?
You told
me that you loved me
You told
me that no one could love me
As you do
So why does
it hurt so?
If this
is love
I know I
don't want it
But do not
know
How else
to survive
I want you
gone
I want you
out
But I am
scared
Despite
the abuse
You have
been a comfort
Despite
the hurt
Despite
the lies
You have
always been my crutch
I want you
gone
I want you
here
Oh, such
a dilemma I am in
Do I want
you, or not?
