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The answer to that is hard to explain, because
like everything else in life it is a personal journey. How long will it take? There is no concrete answer
to that. The only sure way of finding the answer is by sticking with it, and then at the end of the journey you will
know that it took not one day, or even two, but you will know that you have made it. Is it easy? I say no - in
fact, far from it. I must say that it is one of the hardest ventures that I have ever undertaken in my life - harder
even, that the time I jumped out of a plane - that was scary, but nothing can be compared to, or even come close to the fear
that recovery brings. I remember being told that the fear would lessen, by taking the small steps. At the
time, to me, it felt that sometimes these small steps didn't count - I used to wish that there was a magic wand. Personally,
I used to find the fear paralsying. I believe that I had to go through the pain to finally come into my being
- being a whole person as I am. According to Carl Rogers, In therapy you have to come into tune to what your heart
wants, rather than listening to external factors, but that does take time. Through personal development work I have
done, I have heard that the average person needs 7 years of counselling to get to that level, and these are non-sufferers.
So, let me tell you this - there is nothing to be ashamed of for seeking help - you are worth it!
Recovery, in essence, is about becoming aware
of yourself on many levels. It is about becoming aware of who you are, and what you want out of life, or even aspire
to become. It is about bringing unknown issues/conflicts into your awareness, it is becoming aware about how you either
respond or react in different situations, or to different types of people. What is the difference between bringing
things into your awareness, and your sub-conscious? I'll leave you to ponder over that one, as there is no quick answer.
Again, it is a personal thing.
Recovery also brings many feelings (most of these
are unpleasant) to the fore, and it hurts like hell - but I used to keep telling myself that this is what it is about, and
that in the end it will be worth it, as how can I hope to help others if I don't deal with my own life's hurts first.
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